Isn’t it quite ironic? As human beings we are always on the search for perfection. We are very driven creatures, constantly trying to make a better life for ourselves and constantly trying to outgun one another in our work environments. We are taught from a very early age that we need to be good at what we do and put every effort into our everyday lives, be it at home, at work or at play. The irony arises simply due to the fact that, as humans, we are all far less than perfect. Despite the billions of opportunities to create a truly perfect human being since the dawn of time, it’s yet to happen!
So on the one hand, we know that we are not perfect by any means, but on the other hand we are trying to do everything that we can to achieve perfection in our daily lives. Isn’t it little wonder that, from time to time, disasters may happen? This is undoubtedly where you find yourself right now, in the very unpleasant position of being accountable for your actions, of causing pain to someone who you dearly love and not knowing what to do, or where to go for help.
If you are truly hurting, inside, as a consequence of something you have said or you have done, you just don’t know what to do next. You may have tried standing in front of the mirror and rehearsing what you might say to the person that you have wronged. You find yourself stumbling over your words and on many occasions cannot even bear to look at yourself in the mirror, anyway. You’re trying to find the right words to say deep down inside and not sure whether you will be able to make it all right, or whether you will find yourself stumbling and spitting out those words in a desperate attempt to patch everything up.
Even if we were somehow not put together to be perfect, we are nevertheless wired with the ability to do some magical, powerful things. We have the ability to take responsibility for our actions, to be sorry and to apologize – and when it comes to the magic of making up, these are some of those special features that each one of us possesses. An apology, if used correctly, can be one of our most valuable tools.
Don’t underestimate the power of an apology, so long as it comes from your heart. It’s unfortunate that some people are so driven and so wrapped up in themselves that they consider an apology to be something akin to chewing on glass, but that’s not to say that you should be an “unrestrained apologizer,” either. Somewhere in between, you will discover the right formula – and it is a formula – allowing you to strike the right note and to put your relationship back on track.
Have you ever seen those commercials for a brand-new car or something similar at a really unbelievable price, or with some crazy repayment schedules? If you look toward the bottom of the advert you will soon see one of these things – *. We know that this means that there are conditions attached and none of us like to read those conditions, or to realize that we’ve been just a little bit duped by the bold letters of the advert itself. Never fall into the trap of attaching any kind of an asterisk to an apology that you might make. If you do, you are just trying to qualify your behavior, to come up with an excuse for the situation and to try and weasel yourself out of it, in some way.
Let’s get back on track here. You’ve done something wrong and regardless of the extenuating circumstances you have to own your position. It’s important that you understand this and fully understand that you have to take responsibility for doing something wrong. While, as human beings, we may very well be “wired” to accept, value and cherish a heartfelt apology from somebody else who has wronged us, we are also “wired” to see right through an apology that is not heartfelt.
Do you know that some dictionaries actually classify an apology as a justification, or as an excuse? Surely, it is neither and until we clearly understand this, then we are going to remain in trouble.
When you begin to understand that there is a formula, a way to get your relationship back from the depths and to help put yourself out of the misery that is your life right now, then you understand that there is hope. We are very capable of getting ourselves into all kinds of troubles, dilemmas and seemingly irreversible breakups, but I’m here to tell you that we are equally as adept at fixing these things and experiencing the magic of making up too.
When you spend those few moments in front of the mirror, trying to rehearse what you’re going to say with all those conflicting thoughts racing through your mind, the chances are that you have considered how you were not completely responsible for what happened and that the other party should own up to this a little bit as well. You might also have run through all those times when things were good, remembering those special occasions and how neither one of you wanted to be without the other. Surely some of those elements should be discussed here and brought in as evidence for the defense?
You see how our minds work if we’re not careful? Far from doing the right thing, we can doom our attempts to make up by inserting all of those asterisks, all the way along the line.
You need to learn the formula and pay close attention to how easy it is to derail this entire process, perhaps permanently, if you go about it the wrong way. In the book, The Magic Of Making Up, TW Jackson really wants to help you get out of your misery. He understands that you may be frozen with fear and might be worrying about saying anything, in case you simply make it worse. He has seen how people stumble and procrastinate and never seem to make any headway, but nevertheless he has some specific and powerful answers.
These are difficult times for you, I understand, but inaction will make it worse. You really need to read what is contained within this great book and understand how it has helped very many thousands of people, in very similar situations to yours, to rid themselves of their sleepless nights, spoiled appetites and lonely lives.
Order a copy of The Magic Of Making Up for yourself right now by visiting the vendor’s official site at http://www.MagicOfMakingUp.com/ . You will then be able to make your next move – to help you get back into the arms of your loved one – with absolute confidence and renewed vigor.
To YOUR relationship,
Raj
