While every relationship happens to be unique, most couples end up having fights from time to time. Of course, when arguments occur, you can’t just try to shove it under the rug. Couples need to figure out how to make up if the relationship is going to last. Arguing doesn’t have to sabotage relationships. To help you out, here is a look at some helpful tips that will help you making up after dealing with a conflict in the relationship.
Tip #1 – Look Beyond the Argument
First, if you’re going to make up after you have gone through an argument, it’s important that you learn to look beyond the initial conflict. Often you’ll find that you’re really fighting over a feeling that you are dealing with, even if it really wasn’t a part of the disagreement. Trying to figure out the root cause can help you both to calm done. Feeling unappreciated, inadequate, or fear of abandonment can all be underlying feelings that can fuel those arguments.
Tip #2 – Be Responsible for Your Actions
Another tip for making up is to be responsible for your own actions. If you were trying to be controlling or you snapped harshly during the conflict it’s important that you take responsibility. Simply apologizing for any mistakes you made can lead to apologies from your partner, although that shouldn’t be your motivation for apologizing. Showing responsibility and a bit of humility can disarm your partner and help you both start making up so you can get past the conflict.
Tip #3 – Realize You Don’t Need to Be “Right”
It’s also important that you realize that you don’t need to be right. Sure, everyone wants to be right, but this is what keeps arguments continuing. Instead of worrying about who is right, realize that when you argue, no one wins. Give up being right to instead work on making up and ensuring your relationship is okay.
Tip #4 – Show Appreciation for Your Partner
Finding a way that the two of you can share some positive feelings together can help with the making up process. The best relationships out there usually have a higher ratio of appreciations than there are criticisms. Taking action that will create a feeling that is positive can help get things back on track after having an argument. Take the time to simply say a few words of appreciation. This reminds your partner that you still love each other and care about each other, which helps you begin mending the problems so you can make up.
Tip #5 – Set Boundaries for the Future
As you are making up, it’s a good idea to set some boundaries for the future. Maybe you both ended up blowing up at each other, yelling, or even doing some name calling. This is a great time to set good boundaries. This can include deciding that you won’t yell, you won’t call names, or you won’t simply blow up. Not only will this help in the making up process, but setting boundaries for the future will help you to have healthier arguments that are not hurtful to the relationship.